Lucy Solie-Vilker
October 29, 2026
Infertility is common, affecting about 1 in 6 people worldwide, and the World Health Organization notes that it can cause significant distress, stigma and financial hardship.1 The medical side comes with appointments and test results, while the emotional side often shows up at unexpected moments, like a pregnancy announcement or a question at a family dinner.
If you are in the middle of it, what you are feeling makes sense. This guide covers the emotions many people describe, practical ways to protect your wellbeing day to day, and when it may help to bring in more support.
The short answer
Coping with infertility emotionally usually means naming what you feel, setting boundaries around situations that hurt, staying connected to people who support you, and getting professional help when sadness or anxiety starts to affect daily life.
There is no single right way to feel, and your needs may change from one month to the next.
Is it normal to feel this way about infertility?
Yes, and research backs that up. A 2018 review in Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience reports that 25% to 60% of people with infertility have psychiatric symptoms, with anxiety and depression significantly higher than in people without fertility problems. The same review notes that depression levels in infertility patients have been compared with those of patients diagnosed with cancer.2
Many people feel several emotions at once, and the table below names a few common ones.
| What you might feel | How it can show up | What may help |
|---|---|---|
| Grief | Sadness over the pregnancy or genetic connection you hoped for | Giving the loss a name, and time |
| Anxiety | Racing thoughts before test results or each new cycle | A plan for the waiting days, slow breathing, limiting late-night searching |
| Jealousy or anger | Hard feelings around pregnant friends or family | Permission to step back without guilt |
| Isolation | Feeling like no one around you understands | A support group or one trusted person who knows the details |
| Guilt or blame | Wondering what you or your partner did wrong | Remembering that infertility is a medical condition |
If grief is the strongest feeling for you, Victoria Niño's guide to infertility grief walks through it in depth.
How do you cope with infertility emotionally day to day?
Small, repeatable habits tend to help more than big plans. These are the ones people most often say make a difference.
Protect your time and energy
You are allowed to skip a baby shower, leave a gathering early or change the subject when someone asks about kids. Having a short answer ready, such as "we're working on it and would rather not talk about it today," saves you from explaining in the moment.
Be selective with social media
Try to scroll with intention: mute accounts or keywords that sting, and consider following communities of people who are also trying to conceive, where your experience is understood instead of explained.
Get outside and move
A walk, a hike or a class you enjoy gives your mind a break from fertility decisions. Ask your doctor what level of exercise fits your current treatment plan.
Make room for things that are not about fertility
Keep at least a few parts of your week for hobbies, friends and rest. Some people find that volunteering or helping others gives a sense of purpose when so much feels out of their control.
How can partners support each other through infertility?
Partners often cope in different ways, and that difference can create distance if no one names it. One person may want to talk through every result, while the other needs space or focuses on logistics.
A few habits help couples stay on the same side:
- Agree on when to talk about treatment, so it does not take over every dinner.
- Make decisions together, including when to take a break or consider a new plan.
- Share the load of appointments, calls and paperwork where you can.
- Protect time as a couple that has nothing to do with fertility.
If you are single and pursuing parenthood on your own, the same idea applies to the friends or family members you lean on most.
When should you talk to a mental health professional?
It is a good time to reach out if sadness, anxiety or hopelessness last for weeks, if you are withdrawing from people you care about, or if the stress is making it hard to work, sleep or continue treatment. The 2018 review notes that psychological interventions have the potential to decrease anxiety and depression in women with infertility, and that distress is one of the most common reasons people stop treatment.2
Counselors who specialize in reproductive health understand treatment decisions, donor conception and pregnancy loss. For evidence-based approaches, see our guide to stress management during fertility treatment.
If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the U.S., or call 911 in an emergency.
Where can you find infertility support?
Support can come from people who have been there. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association lists free peer-led support groups, both virtual and in person, along with groups led by licensed mental health professionals.3 Online communities, your clinic's patient resources and friends who have been through treatment can help too.
If repeated cycles have left you worn down, this short Donor Nexus video talks about what happens when hope during IVF turns into burnout.
What if your path to parenthood changes?
For many people, a hard moment comes when a doctor suggests a different plan, such as donor eggs or donor embryos. Mixed feelings at this stage are common, and it is okay to take time before deciding. Our article on whether to use donor eggs covers the questions people ask most.
Since 2012, more than 2,000 babies have been born through Donor Nexus programs. When you are ready to learn more, you can explore donor egg programs at your own pace.
If you're exploring donor eggs, our guides to using donor eggs, how our egg donor agency works and our frozen donor egg bank walk through each path, and you can create an account to search the egg donor database whenever you're ready.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to feel depressed during infertility?
Yes, sadness, anxiety and grief are common responses to infertility. A 2018 review found that 25% to 60% of people with infertility report psychiatric symptoms, so if low mood lasts for weeks or affects daily life, talk with a doctor or mental health professional.
How do you cope with infertility when friends are pregnant?
It is okay to step back from baby showers or announcements for a while, send a card instead of attending, or mute updates on social media. Let a close friend know what you are going through so the distance is not misunderstood.
How can couples support each other through infertility?
Partners often cope differently, so agree on when to talk about treatment, check in about decisions together, and set aside time for things that have nothing to do with fertility.
Where can I find infertility support groups?
RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association lists free peer-led groups, both virtual and in person, as well as groups led by licensed mental health professionals.
Is it okay to take a break from fertility treatment?
Yes, many people take a planned break to rest and regroup between cycles. Talk with your doctor about how a pause might affect your timeline so you can decide with full information.
Sources
- World Health Organization. 1 in 6 people globally affected by infertility. News release, April 4, 2023. who.int
- Rooney KL, Domar AD. The relationship between stress and infertility. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience. 2018;20(1):41-47. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
- RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Find a support group. resolve.org
Disclaimer
This article is general information about the emotional side of infertility and is not medical or mental health advice. Talk with your doctor or a licensed mental health professional about your own situation.
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Lucy Solie-Vilker
Lucy Solie-Vilker is the CEO of Donor Nexus, where she's helped build one of the most established platforms in egg and embryo donation. Since 2012, her work has contributed to more than 2,000 babies born to Don…
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